Ring Guides

How To Find Your Partner’s Engagement Ring Size

This guide shows you how to discover your partner's ring size in secret, so you can keep the proposal a surprise for the person you love.

How To Find Your Partner’s Engagement Ring Size

The proposal planning process introduces a unique challenge: secretly determining your partner’s ring size. Don’t panic, we’re here to help! This guide is packed with clever strategies for those looking to keep the proposal a complete surprise. From understanding how to subtly guess their ring size to discovering it through stealthy means, we cover all bases. Here you’ll find all the information you need to ensure you’re equipped to choose the perfect ring that fits flawlessly, adding an extra layer of perfection to your surprise proposal. With our tips and tricks, the magic of the moment is preserved, right down to the perfect fit of the ring.

6 Ways To Find Their Ring Size in Secret

Let’s explore some clever and covert strategies for finding out your partner's ring size to ensure that your proposal remains an enchanting surprise. The expert Queensmith team are always on hand to assist you through this common predicament with grace and ease, offering reassurance, support and innovative solutions to maintain the secrecy of your proposal plans. It’s perfectly normal to not know your partner’s exact ring size, so don’t worry, you’re not alone.

Ring size is directly correlated to our height and clothing size, so if you know these details about your partner, we’ll be able to make a very good estimation!

Sarah-Jane | Gemmologist & Design Consultant
Queensmith consultant and gemmologist, Sarah Jane, laughing and smiling at the Queensmith showroom in Hatton Garden

1. Find One of Their Existing Rings

Embarking on the quest to secretly discover your partner's ring size can seem like a mission, especially when aiming to keep the proposal a grand surprise. A straightforward yet effective approach is to find one of their existing rings, which they won't miss in the short term. This method relies on using a ring that your partner already owns and wears, one that fits the finger you're targeting for the engagement ring as this will give you the most accurate measurement for your clandestine ring sizing mission. Each of our fingers measures differently, with our dominant hand typically having larger ring sizes. This technique offers a solid starting point in determining the perfect ring size, but you may struggle to find a ring that they wear on that finger as it is traditional to keep the ring finger jewellery-free until you’re engaged! In which case, you’re better off asking your design consultant to estimate your partner’s ring size based on their height and clothes size. A photo of their hands can help too!

Take one of their rings to a jeweller

Once you've successfully borrowed one of your partner's rings, the next step is to take it to a jeweller for measurement. This is a precise and reliable way to find out the ring size, and also offers an opportunity to browse potential rings and receive valuable advice on styles and fits that may suit your partner’s taste. Professional jewellers are equipped with the tools and expertise to accurately determine the size of any ring. At Queensmith, not only do we have the tools and the know-how to accurately measure any ring, but our team is deeply committed to making every part of the proposal process as special and seamless as possible.

Measure their ring at home

If a visit to the jeweller isn't feasible or you prefer a more DIY approach, measuring your partner's ring at home is a viable and discreet option. This method allows you to maintain the element of surprise while actively moving forward with your proposal plans. To measure, simply take your partner's ring and follow the instructions provided by Queensmith’s downloadable Ring Sizer Guide. This tool is designed to give you an accurate measurement without the need for professional equipment, and offers a practical solution for those seeking a blend of accuracy and privacy in the proposal planning process. Designed as part of our commitment to making your journey to asking that big question as smooth and worry-free as possible, this resource ensures you can find the perfect fit from the comfort of your home.

Create a sketch of a ring they wear frequently

If your partner might notice their ring missing, consider sketching it instead. Draw the ring they frequently wear, drawing around its inner circumference. This method ensures you don't raise any suspicions by borrowing the ring. Once you have your sketch, you can present it to a jeweller, like Queensmith, where professionals can estimate the ring size based on your drawing. This creative approach keeps the proposal surprise safe while showing your thoughtful dedication to getting every detail just right.

2. Compare Your Hands to Get an Estimate

You might need to whip out the acting skills for this one… Figure out a casual yet clever way to estimate your partner's ring size by getting them to try on one of your rings under a subtle guise. You might, for example, slip one of your rings onto their finger during a casual moment, feigning curiosity about how it looks on them. This not only gives you a sneak peek at their ring size but also wraps the moment in a bit of fun. We’re sure you’ll give an Oscar-worthy performance.

For a simpler approach, you could subtly compare the size of their fingers to yours during a hand-holding session. Notice how their ring finger compares to your fingers; it might closely match the size of one of your own fingers. This method, while not precise, can serve as a useful last resort. It gives you a ballpark estimate to work with, particularly useful when more accurate strategies aren't possible. Keep in mind, this approach is about gathering clues rather than finding exact measurements, setting you on the right path toward selecting the perfect ring size. Once you have an idea of their hand size vs yours, you can help your ring design expert make a better educated guess.

3. Ask Friends or Family

Enlisting the help of your partner's friends or family can be a strategic move in your quest to discover their ring size without raising suspicion. This network of loved ones often holds invaluable insights or might be able to obtain the information more naturally. When choosing this route, emphasise the importance of discretion; these confidants need to tread carefully to keep the surprise intact. They could casually bring up the topic in conversation or find a creative pretext for needing to know, all while ensuring your partner remains oblivious to the real reason behind their curiosities.

Close friends or family members can take advantage of the moments you're not around to sneak a peek at your partner’s jewellery box or to employ one of the initial strategies discussed, like borrowing a ring for a ‘quick jewellery clean’ or another believable excuse. Their role in this delicate mission is to act on your behalf and relay the ring size back to you, paving the way for you to continue with your proposal plans seamlessly.

4. Ask your Married or Engaged Friends for Help

Engaged or married friends can be a great help when you're trying to secretly find out your partner's ring size. They offer a unique advantage, as they can casually let your partner try on their engagement ring under the guise of admiring it, giving you a closer estimate of the size needed. This situation can feel more natural and less suspicious, especially since discussions about weddings and engagements are already in their realm of recent experiences.

Beyond ring sizing, these friends are perfectly positioned to organically introduce conversations about preferences in engagement rings. Their experience makes them a credible source for asking insightful questions without arousing any suspicion. Consider providing them with some key questions to ask, for example:

These questions not only help in determining the ring size but also in selecting a ring that aligns perfectly with your partner’s taste, ensuring the final choice is one they'll adore. This strategy enhances your knowledge base with personal preferences that are crucial for making the most informed and heartfelt decision.

Popular ring designs

5. Disguise the Question

Crafting a clever disguise for your question about ring size can be an effective way to gather information without giving away your intentions. One strategy is to suggest that you're considering buying a ring as a gift for someone else, such as a parent or even for yourself, and you're curious about ring sizes for comparison. If you and your partner have somewhat similar ring sizes or if you can convincingly pretend so, this approach can work wonders.

Utilising mutual friends who are also in relationships can add another layer of subtlety to your questions. For instance, you could enlist a friend who is ‘soon to be engaged’ and have them share that their partner is trying to find out their ring size. They can then casually mention that they've been asked to use your partner’s ring size as a reference, under the pretext that it might be similar. It’s a tactful way to keep the magic of your impending engagement alive, all the while gathering the essential details you need.

6. Measure When They’re Sleeping

If you fancy yourself a bit of a ninja in the night or your partner could sleep through a marching band rehearsal, measuring their ring size while they snooze might just be your golden ticket. Arm yourself with a ribbon, string, or any piece of material that won’t stretch (and won't tickle, unless you're prepared for some midnight giggles). Like a cat burglar in fluffy slippers, you'll need to wrap it gently around their ring finger and mark the meeting point with a pen, all without waking them up.

This mission is perfect for those who have mastered the art of silent laughter and possess the dexterity of a shadow. It’s a fine balance between being as light as a feather and quick as a wink. Beware, though: if they're light sleepers, you might find yourself in a plot twist worthy of a sitcom, trying to explain why you're holding their hand with a string at 2 AM. But, if the stars align and you pull it off, you’ll have not just their ring size but also a hilarious ‘how I did it’ story to tell at your engagement party!

And just so we’re clear, this isn’t a technique we advise!

What if I can’t find out their ring size?

If your covert operations to discover your partner's ring size end up more 'Mission: Impossible' than 'smooth operator,' don't fret. There are always other options. One of the simplest solutions is to make your best guess. If the ring doesn’t fit, Queensmith has got your back with our ring resizing services. We understand that the path to engagement can have its obstacles, so we’re on hand with free resizing on your engagement ring. Rest assured, a sizing mistake is nothing we can’t fix together. For more details on how we can help adjust your symbol of love, visit our ring resizing page.

Propose with a Diamond

Proposing with a diamond, rather than a fully set ring, is becoming an increasingly popular choice for those looking to capture the moment without the stress of selecting the perfect band. This approach significantly reduces the risk of making a 'wrong decision' about the style your partner would love, ensuring the proposal remains a joyful and unforgettable experience.

Choosing the diamond together after the proposal can be a wonderfully intimate activity, marking the start of your engagement with a shared decision that's both meaningful and memorable. It allows both of you to explore preferences, discover styles, and decide on a design that genuinely represents your unique bond.

For those interested in this approach, Queensmith offers a wide selection of stunning diamonds, including ethically sourced options and lab grown diamonds for you to choose from. To make this journey even more special, you can opt for a bespoke engagement ring. This choice allows your partner to be involved in the creative process, resulting in a custom ring that's as unique as your love story.

Find the perfect fit with Queensmith

Navigating the mystery of finding your partner's ring size without them catching on certainly adds a dash of intrigue to your proposal plan. Whether you opt for stealthy sketches, enlist a circle of trust, or decide on a diamond-first approach, each path is uniquely tailored to keep the surprise intact.

When you've gathered your intel or settled on the perfect gem, it's time to make it official. Our team of experts are here to provide you with a deep dive into the world of engagement rings, and can even help you design a custom ring that truly represents you and your partner’s journey together. You can also read more about budget, ring style, metals and diamonds in our comprehensive engagement ring buying guide.

Ready to take the next step? Book an appointment with us, and let's craft a moment that's as authentic and memorable as your relationship. It's about more than just getting the size right; it's about beginning this exciting new chapter with boosted confidence and the perfect fit.

We’re here to help

We get it, you’ve never done this before.

That’s why we have diamond and design experts on hand, who are here to guide you through every step – from understanding what carat, colour, cut and clarity mean, to designing the perfect ring.

Need help choosing the perfect ring?

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