Feeling Blue After 'I Do': Newlyweds Reveal Post-Wedding Blues & The Challenges That Come With It

Post-wedding blues are the hangover from the heady high of wedding planning and are often the first thing that greets newlyweds when they return from their honeymoon. Across the ages, from folklore to literature and cinema, our wedding day has been dubbed as the best day of our lives. But with the confetti thrown, the cake sliced, and the first dance over, many newlyweds are faced with the post-wedding blues.

To shed light on this often unspoken phenomenon, we surveyed 1,000 newlyweds across the UK to uncover just how rife post-wedding blues are. Our insights revealed everything from the best and most stressful moments in the wedding planning process to the post-ceremony emotions and how couples can cope with these feelings, building a national picture of post-wedding blues.

We also sought expert advice from Dr Becky Spelman, psychologist and founder of Private Therapy Clinic, who explains why newlyweds may feel these emotions and how you can overcome post-wedding blues.

Post-wedding blues refers to feelings of sadness, letdown, or emptiness experienced after wedding celebrations. These feelings are often related to the absence of wedding excitement and are not necessarily reflective of the wedding day itself. In fact, 94.6% of respondents said their wedding experience was either extremely positive or positive. Despite this, our data found that almost 40% of newlyweds admitted they experienced deflation, sadness or blues after their big day.

Dr Becky Spelman breaks down some of the telltale signs and symptoms of post-wedding blues, she explains: “The feeling can present itself differently in each individual, but things to look out for in yourself and your partner include mood swings, irritability, lack of motivation, feeling empty or sad, having difficulty adjusting to routine life, or longing for the excitement of wedding planning.”

With our data suggesting 40% of newlyweds experience feelings of post-wedding blues, we took a deep dive into the latest figures from The Office of National Statistics. Among 259,462 yearly unions in the UK, our data would suggest that around 103,800 couples are sad or deflated after their wedding each year.

We found feelings of stress were experienced by almost a quarter of respondents, with anxiety and sadness both felt by more than a fifth.

The wash of low feelings may be overwhelming and can come as a surprise for newlyweds after the emotional highs of a wedding.

With so many people reporting that they experience post-wedding blues, we set out to find the major cause of this emotion and discovered from Dr Spelman that it is a normal experience.

Dr Spelman explains: “The intense focus and anticipation leading up to the wedding creates a build-up of emotions and excitement. Once the wedding is over, it can feel like a void or a loss of purpose. The sudden shift from being the centre of attention with months of planning and anticipation to the return of everyday life can contribute to feelings of emptiness and a lack of direction.”

Our data supported this sentiment, with missing the excitement from wedding planning and the wedding day itself topping the list as the most common post-wedding depression trigger, experienced by 30% of respondents.

Going back to the usual daily routine was the second highest trigger affecting 29% of respondents, while coming back home from the honeymoon came in third, experienced by 27% of respondents. Echoing getting back to daily routines, going back to work came in fourth, felt by 25% and no longer planning the wedding completed the top five and was felt by just over 19%.

Not all post-wedding blues come from missing the wedding process, for some the build-up of stress before tying the knot can come to a head after the big day.

Our data reveals that the most stressful aspect of planning a wedding is budgeting, with a whopping 93% of newlyweds finding budget concerns to be stressful. The second most voted stressor, family conflicts, was chosen by 37% with rain/bad weather sitting in third place, selected by 36.9%. Choosing the guest list and seating arrangements came in fourth selected by 32.9% of respondents and finding a venue was fifth selected by 24% of newlyweds.

The stress from these factors during the build-up to the wedding may only be released when it’s over, accounting for some people’s post-wedding lull.

Aside from the angst that impacted newlyweds, there were also tasks that although not emotionally straining, were reported as unenjoyable.

Ranking at the top of the list for tasks least enjoyed was unsurprisingly creating a budget, favoured by just 1 in 10 newlyweds. Despite the popularity of the social media app, Instagram, it surprisingly wasn’t a hit for newlyweds with only 20% reporting that they enjoyed sharing their wedding snaps. The time-consuming tasks of sending out invites, practising the first dance and writing vows came in third, fourth and fifth least enjoyed tasks respectively.

It is important to remember that post-wedding blues is often a result of missing the wedding process, which while stressful in some aspects is a very enjoyable and bonding experience for couples.

With a wedding representing the unification of two people and their respective families, it is no surprise that the top most enjoyable aspect of the big day for newlyweds was spending quality time with loved ones, selected by 56.7% of respondents.

Saying yes to the perfect dress or suit came in second, chosen by 51.9% of newlyweds while food tasting, looking around venues and choosing wedding rings came in third, fourth and fifth place respectively.

The extent of post-wedding blues varies from person to person, but our data uncovered that for almost a third of newlyweds it lasted for a month, or longer, after the big day.

Overcoming any period of low mood can be difficult, especially when something you’ve been looking forward to, like a wedding finishes. It’s key to remember you’re on the other side of potentially years of excitement and planning from buying an engagement ring to finding the perfect wedding dress and even choosing your flowers, so it’s normal for there to be a slight crash after such an immense high.

Dr Spelman offers her insight for those experiencing post-wedding blues on how to cope: “I would recommend acknowledging and accepting the emotions you're experiencing and communicating them with your partner, friends and family. Find new interests or hobbies, set new goals, and focus on creating a fulfilling and meaningful life beyond the wedding.”

It seems that Dr Spelman’s advice is already being heeded by many couples as over half of newlyweds we surveyed reported that they had used exercise as a way to battle their post-wedding blues. With 46.7% going for walks, 32% utilising relaxation tips, 31.2% talking through their feelings with friends and family, and 27.7% reflecting on the day looking at wedding photos to boost their mood.

Beyond the wedding and its aftermath, Dr Spelman advises couples to work on nurturing their bond and looking to the future together to stamp out the blues for good: “Set new goals together, take part in activities together, plan future adventures and enjoy quality time together - without the stress of wedding planning!”

Laura Suttie from Queensmith said: “Weddings are a joyous and happy occasion that celebrates the love between a couple, but after the big day has passed it is normal to feel a sense of sadness and longing. However, you shouldn’t let this take away from what is such a special day of celebrating love. Our data discovered that for 94% of couples, their wedding day was either an extremely positive or positive experience.

“While post-wedding blues were felt by 40% of couples, almost half reported it lasting less than a month and only 5.1% reported it lasting longer than 6 months so, the prospect shouldn’t detract from what is a lovely and memorable day.

“As they enter married life couples should focus on mini-milestones and anniversaries to bring their focus back to celebratory fun events post-wedding. We love seeing our customers sharing their special moments from their weddings and marriages with our rings seeing couples through their journey from proposal to anniversaries.”

• Recognise that your wedding was just a day and you have a lifetime of marriage to look forward to.

• Plan some enjoyable activities for when you return from your honeymoon, these can be with your friends or with your new spouse.

• Reflect on your wedding day and think about all the happy memories you made.

• Create an album or scrapbook of photos from your wedding and honeymoon.

• Change to your new name on documents and accounts if you are taking your spouse's name.

• Send messages or cards thanking your wedding attendees or even the staff that helped make your wedding day go smoothly.

• Start a gratitude journal.

• Dedicate some time to forming your new family dynamic, spending time with your in-laws and creating plans for where you’ll spend your time on seasonal holidays and birthdays.